Thoughts on Interpersonal Relationships

So I have really been contemplating the sorts of relationships that can occur between different people. Thinking about it, I feel as if I have very many different types of relationships with people. For example, I have my family. I love all of them very much and the love I have for my family members is not at all similar as the sort of love I feel toward my friends. I love them on a more personal level, and I do not have any inhibitions from showing them the parts of me that I feel need work. I will show them my weaknesses and my insecurities and I will always let them know what I’m thinking. If they ask a question, I will tell them EVERYTHING I think or feel about that question without any sort of filter. I know they will love me unconditionally. They may not always approve of all of my actions, and they may reprimand me for things I do incorrectly. But all of those things, are forms and manifestations of their love. They want me to be the best person I can and they will not judge me as I attempt to do better.

But with friends it is very different. I feel like each friend group requires me to stifle a bit of myself =\ I don’t know how to change that. Will I know who I should be with when I can show them all of me without worrying about their reactions. Should I not be with anyone who cannot accept every part of me? even the faults? Will anyone ever be able to accept me with all of that? If anyone knew every single detail about me and my past and what I have done…would they ever love me? I can’t seem to find someone that will love me without seeing all of my faults…how could I possibly think that there would be someone out there willing to accept all of it. Who would love me unconditionally…that person doesn’t exist. I am pretty sure my family are the only people that will ever love me like that. It seems depressing, but really…that’s how it goes. I just am not a good enough of a person. That’s just what I have to live with.